How very sad - for you but for these two women who appear to have closed their minds. Friendships are the glue that hold our lives together. To discover one is superfluous to friendships because of political views - too sad.
I’m sorry for this Phyllis. TDS is a true psychological illness. I too have lost dear friends - one once screamed at me hysterically over Kavanaugh being a serial rapist which caused a lull in our friendship but we tried again about 2 years ago and that dinner ended abruptly with her yelling that she wanted trump dead. Her daughter and mine were best friends in growing up and we all spent countless hours together as families and her daughter is getting married and I won’t be there. I’d like to think the at these hateful people will one day realize their misguided anger was unfounded and deranged but probably not. Either way, it’s no less painful and sad to be on the receiving end and losing lifelong friends.
Phyllis, THANK YOU for sharing your warmly concerned response to this all-too-disheartending & anti-rational freeze-out from your two old & cherished friends.
My mother used to say that one’s friends provide "an island" to stand on amidst the storms of life. This appears to be a time when “friendship's island” is getting smaller, but still it endures! You really have loyalty!
So sad I have lost 40+ year friends as well. But as a very wise woman (you) told me years ago “perhaps you need better friends”. Although as we age that does become a tall order.
For years we had a friend, smart and entertaining, who we met at orach chaim. She lived on 91st st and we enjoyed her company. When Trump was running 2016, outta the blue, she asked me if I was voting for trump: and if I was, she was terminating our friendship. And that was that. She got divorced and moved to Chicago. I missed her for a very short time. Apparently, many relationships broke up similarly. But most of the time it’s the tds who terminates. I don’t know any republicans who cancelled relationships with those who voted Biden or Kamala.
I, of course, have experienced this in spades, as you might guess, Phyllis, but I ask myself a question. Were these people really your friends? In what sense? The obvious answer is that they were friends with what you were but not with what you are. But even slightly below the surface, it's likely that they never were. This is hard for your to countenance, I would guess. It certainly is for me. All best, Roger
I'm sure I know people who'd nod their head in agreement to all of the newsletter. Let's see....I challenged a college friend's feminist screed....not because I don't believe women have been subject to discrimination....she shut down communication. When I inferred I'd be voting Republican because I detested Kerry for President....a male college friend went silent on me. So these were by then forty year friendships. I see some pro Mamdani posts from a woman I know...a Jewish woman....I just ignore her posts as she has ignored all my reposting of hostage posters and the like.....otherwise we still will exchange comments. Seems the best way to navigate. On the other hand, a neighbor I have been at odds with suddenly sees me as an ally in our detestation of Mamdani, Sandy Cortez. That's a switch.
Yes it is sad to experience friendships disintegrating as those friends descend into delusion, hatred and lies. Not much that one can do about it. But kudos to you Phyliss for calling them out. You know the left says” silence is violence” but it takes guts to confront people so mired in pro forma leftist screed. The response will be more of the same and not pretty.
They gave up the plot with the reference to a "planetary culture." I've been a feminist and environmentalist since I was a young child. What was in that newsletter represented neither.
From email:
Isnt it weird that some people cant distinguish between oppressed and oppressors?
American liberals are truly demented. Sheep following some kind of liberal party line.
And those who disagree are labelled as right wing or neo cons.
It will take years, decades, if we emerge from this at all.
And where are the Dems? Lots of people are asking. Scaed of their shadow. Scared of being labelled
reactionaries. And responsible for arming the reactionary right wingers.
I got blackballed by the US Green Party for daring to question their policies and practices. They
descended into well deserved obscurity for ignoring their real mission, ecology, and shedding
crocodile tears.
Do you follow Tim Snyder (moved to Toronto) and Anne Applebaum? And Mark Galeotti?
If not, you should! The voices of sanity, reason and truth.
From email:
Dear Phyllis
How very sad - for you but for these two women who appear to have closed their minds. Friendships are the glue that hold our lives together. To discover one is superfluous to friendships because of political views - too sad.
From email:
I’m sorry for this Phyllis. TDS is a true psychological illness. I too have lost dear friends - one once screamed at me hysterically over Kavanaugh being a serial rapist which caused a lull in our friendship but we tried again about 2 years ago and that dinner ended abruptly with her yelling that she wanted trump dead. Her daughter and mine were best friends in growing up and we all spent countless hours together as families and her daughter is getting married and I won’t be there. I’d like to think the at these hateful people will one day realize their misguided anger was unfounded and deranged but probably not. Either way, it’s no less painful and sad to be on the receiving end and losing lifelong friends.
From email:
What flavor KoolAid are they drinking???
From email:
Phyllis, THANK YOU for sharing your warmly concerned response to this all-too-disheartending & anti-rational freeze-out from your two old & cherished friends.
My mother used to say that one’s friends provide "an island" to stand on amidst the storms of life. This appears to be a time when “friendship's island” is getting smaller, but still it endures! You really have loyalty!
Loving appreciation —
From email:
It's so painful to lose old friends. But it's such a thrill to make new, better ones. Here's to those...
From email:
Dearest Phyllis,
Your letter is smart and careful.
But I know how painful it is to lose old friends.
Thinking of you...
From email:
So sad I have lost 40+ year friends as well. But as a very wise woman (you) told me years ago “perhaps you need better friends”. Although as we age that does become a tall order.
Wishing you l’shana tova
From email:
Damn Girlfriend this is so fucking brave and spot on .
Dahlink …. You out and put
The lot of these so called feminists and righteous hypocrites to shame .
Chop chop yalla. Bye hypocritical poor excuses of women…..
From email:
For years we had a friend, smart and entertaining, who we met at orach chaim. She lived on 91st st and we enjoyed her company. When Trump was running 2016, outta the blue, she asked me if I was voting for trump: and if I was, she was terminating our friendship. And that was that. She got divorced and moved to Chicago. I missed her for a very short time. Apparently, many relationships broke up similarly. But most of the time it’s the tds who terminates. I don’t know any republicans who cancelled relationships with those who voted Biden or Kamala.
I, of course, have experienced this in spades, as you might guess, Phyllis, but I ask myself a question. Were these people really your friends? In what sense? The obvious answer is that they were friends with what you were but not with what you are. But even slightly below the surface, it's likely that they never were. This is hard for your to countenance, I would guess. It certainly is for me. All best, Roger
I'm sure I know people who'd nod their head in agreement to all of the newsletter. Let's see....I challenged a college friend's feminist screed....not because I don't believe women have been subject to discrimination....she shut down communication. When I inferred I'd be voting Republican because I detested Kerry for President....a male college friend went silent on me. So these were by then forty year friendships. I see some pro Mamdani posts from a woman I know...a Jewish woman....I just ignore her posts as she has ignored all my reposting of hostage posters and the like.....otherwise we still will exchange comments. Seems the best way to navigate. On the other hand, a neighbor I have been at odds with suddenly sees me as an ally in our detestation of Mamdani, Sandy Cortez. That's a switch.
So sorry about the demise of historic friendships. I'm in a very similar boat. It's shocking - and so painful too.
Yes it is sad to experience friendships disintegrating as those friends descend into delusion, hatred and lies. Not much that one can do about it. But kudos to you Phyliss for calling them out. You know the left says” silence is violence” but it takes guts to confront people so mired in pro forma leftist screed. The response will be more of the same and not pretty.
They gave up the plot with the reference to a "planetary culture." I've been a feminist and environmentalist since I was a young child. What was in that newsletter represented neither.
Very painful the loss of a close friend over something as temporal as our current political climate. Blindness of heart is an astounding thing.